Manhood

Blue sports car at the curb

The Bulging Suit in the Jazzy Sports Car

It’s too much of a cliché really, the sun-glassed ageing dude in the cool sports car. Some smile at the sight, others cringe depending on how close to home the image strikes, but we all know what’s up. The mid-life crisis. Here’s my take on it. blue sports car image courtesy Zan Ilic at Unsplash The typical path to growing up is strewn with external prompts and cues. Everyone seems to know what we need to be doing. First orders… Read more

Men at Forty

Men at forty Learn to close softly The doors to rooms they will not be Coming back to. At rest on a stair landing, They feel it Moving beneath them now like the deck of a ship, Though the swell is gentle. And deep in mirrors They rediscover The face of the boy as he practices tying His father’s tie there in secret. And the face of that father, Still warm with the mystery of lather. They are more fathers… Read more

Two figures in a studio lit up by the screen display of a grid test pattern

The Beloved Son

I wrote previously about the father-son archetype in therapy, with my views that men need to exorcise their demons and embrace their gods through meaningful conversation with other men. My thoughts on this originated through my ongoing work in a group of men, witnessing how they were affected by other men’s accounts of their relationships to their fathers – as if they were their own – regardless of what their actual relationship to their father was. This is how I… Read more